


The Accidental Counselor

by Siberianskys



Series: The Accidental Counselor [1]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (2012), The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/M, Feels, Implied Relationships, M/M, Multi, References to Canonical Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-02
Updated: 2013-07-02
Packaged: 2017-12-16 20:18:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/866192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Siberianskys/pseuds/Siberianskys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony and Clint bond after The Battle of Manhattan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Accidental Counselor

“Can’t sleep either?” Tony asked as he joined Clint at the edge of Stark Tower’s roof, being careful to keep the archer between himself and the ledge.

  
“Killing your husband and a slew of your co-workers has that effect on you,” Clint snapped, rubbing the bridge of his nose between the thumb and forefinger of his right hand.

  
Tony had no witty retort for that one, so he settled for resting his hands on Clint’s shoulders while resisting the urge to hug him. “You aren’t responsible for what happened while Loki was playing puppeteer with your brain.”

  
“Sorry, uncalled for, Phil would have sent me to the couch for that one.”

  
“Wait, you and Agent?” Tony asked, stunned.

  
“Didn’t mean to spring it on you like that. Nat said you’d been digging around in S.H.I.E.L.D’s files. I figured that would have come up in my personnel records.”

  
“I just wanted to know what Fury was hiding. There’s plenty in my past that I’d just as soon keep there so I did my teammates a solid and kept my nose out of their business.”

  
“I wasn’t exactly your teammate at the time,” Clint said.

 

“Maybe not, but Agent and Romanoff seemed pretty keen on you.”

  
“They have names, you know.” Clint said.

  
“I’m not sure I’m allowed to use Romanoff’s,” Tony said.

  
“You may be right about that, but it doesn’t explain why you always call Phil Agent,” Clint said.

  
“It’s just wrong,” Tony said.

  
“What?” Clint asked.

  
“Phil just doesn’t fit. He was born in that suit.” Tony said.

  
“I know for a fact that he wasn’t,” Clint said.

  
“Oh, God, I am never going to get that image out of my head now,” Tony said

  
“I know I’m going to regret this, but what the hell are you talking about?” Clint asked.

  
“You saw Agent naked,” Tony said.

  
“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

  
“You know you’re ruining the mystique,” Tony said.

  
“Knowing that he watched “Supernanny” hadn’t already done that for you?” Clint asked.

  
“He told you; didn’t he?” Tony asked.

  
“He told me a lot of things,” Clint said.

  
“He ever mention Fury making him babysit me?”

  
“Is that what you thought?” Clint asked.

  
“Even Rhodey washed his hands of that thankless task.”

  
“So it would surprise you that Phil volunteered?” Clint asked.

  
“He threatened to tase me and watch “Supernanny” while I drooled into the carpet.”

  
“That was his go-to threat. He used it on the baby agents all the time,” Clint said.

  
“Not on you?” Tony asked.

  
“It didn’t really matter what was on the tube; it was just nice to curl up on the couch with him and live like real people once in a while.”

  
“I’m sorry,” Tony said, giving into his urge to wrap his arms around Clint.

  
“You always this touchy-feely?” Clint asked.

  
Tony dropped his arms and stepped back.

  
“I didn’t say you had to stop,” Clint said.

  
“I’m not good with boundaries.”

  
“I heard you’ve been poking Banner with sharp things,” Clint said.

  
“That’s not all I’d like to poke Banner with.”

  
Clint snickered.

  
“Please tell me I didn’t say that out loud,” Tony said.

  
“You’ve got a thing for Banner,” Clint said.

  
“I’ve got a thing for Banner’s brain.”

  
“And?” Clint prodded.

  
“He’s so--I don’t know --” Tony said gesturing toward his head, clearly frustrated.

  
“Cute,” Clint said.

  
Tony nodded. “Cute, smart, speaks my language. Love the hair.”

  
“So, go get him,” Clint said.

  
“Don’t think I don’t want to. It’s just--Pepper and I are finally good. We’re happy. I swore to her that I could be monogamous, that I wasn’t going to be that guy anymore. And now this happens.”

  
“You aren’t that guy anymore. I’ve noticed you’ve been conspicuously absent from the tabloids lately. You haven’t acted on it, right? Clint asked.

  
Tony shook his head.

  
“Okay, so talk to your girl.”

  
“And say what? Honey, I met this guy with a huge brain that I’m even jealous of who turns into a giant green rage monster when he gets pushed too far; how do you feel about sharing?” Tony asked.

  
“Sounds about right,” Clint said.

  
“Seriously?” Tony asked.

  
“You should probably put something in there about if it weren’t for Jolly Green you wouldn’t even be having this conversation.”

  
“You and Agent were married for how long?” Tony asked.

  
“According to us or the Commonwealth of Massachusetts?”

  
“Take your pick,” Tony said.

  
“We were married in Provincetown on June 1, 2009. We were together just short of 15 years,” Clint said.

  
“Shit,” Tony said.

  
“Yeah,” Clint said.

  
“And Agent wouldn’t have killed you in your sleep if you’d tried that on him?”

  
“He didn’t when I brought Nat home,” Clint said.

  
“Did you just tell me you had some sort of three-way going?” Tony asked.

  
“Don’t make is sound sleazy. It’s not--it wasn’t like that. We were happy. That’s why I’m telling you to talk to Pepper.”

  
“I can’t lose her,” Tony said.

  
“I was watching the two of you at dinner. She’s not going anywhere.”

  
“How can you be so sure?” Tony asked.

  
“She knows,” Clint said.

  
“What? You can’t know that.” Tony said.

  
“She was watching you watch Banner and she didn’t look pissed.”

  
“How did she look?” Tony asked.

  
“Somewhere between amused and indulgent.”

  
“You aren’t yanking my chain are you, Katniss?”

  
“Go. I have a feeling Pepper is going to take a lot less convincing than Bruce,” Clint said.

  
Tony smiled, ruffling the archer’s hair before heading back inside. He turned to look over his shoulder and hoped that he’d never find himself where Clint found himself today, without his rudder.


End file.
